Should we be afraid of silence?

 Should we be afraid of silence?

For many, silence can feel uncomfortable, even threatening. 

It shines a light on what the hustle and bustle of everyday life helps us avoid: our thoughts, our emotions, our inner truth. Yet others recognize its profound benefits. 

Away from ambient noise, constant chatter, and digital stimulation, silence acts as a space for reconnecting with oneself. It can be unsettling at first, but it also has the power to soothe, center, and even transform us.

My relationship with silence

For a long time, I was uncomfortable with silence. Well, it must be said that, while I'm not the most extroverted of the group, I love to talk, especially when I'm alone. When I was young, my father often joked about the fact that I talked A LOT, non-stop. Yes, even at 5 years old, I was a real chatterbox.

As I've gotten older, I've retained this love of conversation, but I've also developed a certain phobia of downtime, pauses, and long silences. I've associated these moments with a lack of interest in myself. 

Intrusive thoughts like "I'm so uninteresting" or "the person I'm talking to must find me sleepy" start to swarm in my brain, undermining my sense of self-esteem. So I talk and talk... With empty words after empty words, I try to fill the silence.

But since I met my boyfriend, his relationship with silence has helped me reconcile with him. Even though my boyfriend still talks easily, he's also very comfortable with moments of silence. 

For him, they're more like moments of rest, which he appreciates. It's true that when you spend almost all your free time with the same person, you might not always have something to say to each other. 

It's a sign of complicity, in reality. So, for the first time in my life, I'm learning to be comfortable in these downtimes that have always terrified me.

Silence is also being with oneself

Yes, of course, there is silence with others, but what about silence with oneself? I also feel more and more comfortable being in silence when I'm alone. 

Whereas before, I worked with music in the background, I realize that I function much better in complete silence. It's as if I can hear the thoughts in my head more.

I also connect more easily with my creativity. They say that nature doesn't like a vacuum: by letting myself be bathed in silence, I create space in my head for ideas to emerge. 

I also notice this when I take a walk: increasingly, I avoid putting a podcast or music in my ears, and I take advantage of this moment to be mindful. Result: I give my brain a break from stimulation, and I always come back super inspired!

When silence confronts us

Silence is so disturbing because it acts like a mirror. It reflects what's happening inside us when nothing else comes to camouflage it: our doubts, our insecurities, our sometimes contradictory impulses. 

Without outside noise to fill the space, we find ourselves face to face with ourselves. This encounter, while essential, isn't always comfortable.

Taming silence takes practice. You can start with short periods of unstimulating activity: turning off the radio during your morning commute, working without music, or walking without headphones. 

These breaks gradually allow us to quiet our minds and create mental space. It's also helpful to welcome what emerges in silence instead of judging it. 

An unpleasant thought? An unexpected emotion? They're not there to harm us, but to be heard. By practicing a form of self-presence, we become less reactive and more grounded.

Rethinking our relationship with silence

Silence is not empty: it is filled with us. Learning to inhabit it rather than flee from it means making space for our inner world. It also means recognizing that we don't need to fill every moment to exist fully.

What if, starting today, we stopped filling all the silences? Just to see what they have to say to us.