Why do we have so much difficulty accepting compliments?

 Why do we have so much difficulty accepting compliments?

“Wow, your dress is beautiful!”

"Oh, that? It's an old thing I found in the back of my wardrobe..."

Many people have difficulty accepting compliments, whether they're about their physical appearance or personal qualities. 

Why is it so difficult to simply say "thank you" without trying to diminish ourselves or soften the compliments? Is it possible to learn to be more comfortable receiving compliments?

In this article, we will explore the psychological reasons behind this difficulty, the impact of this attitude, and ways to learn to accept compliments with gratitude.

The psychological reasons behind the difficulty in accepting compliments

One of the main reasons some people struggle with accepting compliments is their low self-esteem. They simply don't believe they deserve those kind words, which leads them to dismiss them. 

For example, someone who doesn't feel good about their body may have a hard time believing that anyone could genuinely find them attractive.

Accepting a compliment can also create a fear of being perceived as arrogant or pretentious. To avoid this social discomfort, some people minimize or deflect praise, hoping to avoid negative judgment.

There may also be social conditioning behind this difficulty. For example, women are often encouraged to be modest, not to attract too much attention, or not to brag. As a result, they may feel pressured to moderate the compliments they receive, even when they are well-intentioned.

The impact of refusing compliments

Well, yes: we don't think about it at the time, but refusing to accept a compliment or minimizing it can have a certain impact, both on the person receiving it and the person offering it.

Among other things, this can reinforce negative self-talk. By constantly rejecting kind words, we reinforce the idea that we don't deserve recognition or validation, which can harm our self-esteem in the long run.

By declining a compliment, one can also unintentionally invalidate the effort or intention of the person giving it . This can create discomfort or awkwardness, and send the message that their words are not appreciated.

By constantly refusing compliments, we risk creating emotional distance from others. Indeed, compliments are often a way for people to strengthen social bonds and show affection or appreciation. Not accepting them can weaken these positive interactions.

How to learn to accept compliments?

The simplest solution is probably to learn to simply say "thank you," without adding anything else! Resist the urge to justify yourself or minimize the praise. Little by little, it will become a habit, and you will feel more comfortable doing it.

It's important to understand that accepting a compliment doesn't make us conceited. Rather, it's about accepting legitimate recognition of our qualities or efforts.

To become more comfortable with compliments, it's often necessary to work on your own self-esteem. By learning to value your own qualities, you become more open to external recognition. This process may take time, but it's essential for developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

A path to self-acceptance

Accepting a compliment can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but it's a valuable skill that can not only improve your relationship with yourself but also enrich your interactions with others. Learn to say "thank you" and let compliments boost your self-esteem.

So, the next time someone compliments you on your beautiful eyes, you'll know what to say!