Daily Life Style

 Allow yourself to be gentle with yourself

Let's not kid ourselves: our society places a high value on performance. It's customary to highlight one's successes, whether professional, athletic, or even familial.

This performance culture can easily lead us into a spiral of pressure, where we feel we have to accomplish a lot, sometimes to the detriment of our mental and physical health. 

To mitigate the adverse effects of this pressure, one attitude seems crucial: allowing ourselves gentler with ourselves. 

What is gentleness?

According to the Antidote dictionary, gentleness can be defined as a “pleasant and moderate feeling,” or even “attentive, patient and affectionate behavior.” 

Sweetness is often associated with a sensory quality, such as a smooth, pleasant texture or a subtly sweet taste. 

It can also be extended to experiences or environments that provide a sense of calm and comfort, such as soft music, dim lighting, or a light, warm breeze.

Gentleness is an essential component of emotional well-being. Being gentle with yourself is not a luxury, but a necessity for living a fulfilling and resilient life.

Gentleness, a fault?

Gentleness is a characteristic that is sometimes undervalued in our society, where performance and accomplishments are placed on a pedestal. 

It can be perceived by some as a weakness, something to hide, as if it reflected a disabling vulnerability. 

Although it may, at first glance, seem at odds with the hectic pace of life that is valued, it is nevertheless essential to our well-being. 

Without gentleness, we are nothing but harshness, hardness, and even violence. Gentleness is the ally of every person, whether they have high aspirations or not. It balances the heaviness of the outside world, and sometimes, of our own inner world. It's like a caress for the soul.

How to be kinder to yourself

So, concretely, how can we be more gentle with ourselves? Here are some solutions to explore: 

1. Listen to yourself

Being aware of your own rhythms and needs is essential for developing a gentle and understanding relationship with yourself. This means respecting your personal boundaries, listening to your body's signals of fatigue or stress, and adjusting your schedule accordingly. Taking the time to reflect on what you really need can help avoid burnout and maintain a healthy mental and physical balance.

2. Treat ourselves as if we were our own best friend.

Imagine how you would treat a close friend who was going through a difficult time. You would probably be compassionate and patient. 

Applying these same attitudes to yourself can transform how you see and treat yourself. This includes forgiving yourself for mistakes, motivating yourself with kindness, and encouraging yourself through challenges.

3. Accept yourself as you are. 

Self-acceptance is a pillar of self-kindness. It involves embracing all facets of your personality, including flaws. Recognizing that imperfections are natural parts of the human experience can relieve the pressure of perfection and promote a sense of inner peace.

4. Take care of your body

The body is the temple of the mind, so treating it with respect is crucial. This includes choosing nutritious foods, ensuring adequate sleep for recovery, and incorporating regular physical activity. These actions are not only beneficial for physical health, but also enhance mental and emotional well-being.

5. Make time for what you love.

It's important to make time for activities that nourish the soul and bring joy. These moments allow you to reconnect with yourself and cultivate a sense of personal satisfaction.

Spread kindness around you

Allowing ourselves to be more gentle with ourselves is not only good for us, but it's also like giving others, those around us, permission to do the same. I can only encourage you to become ambassadors of gentleness!

 Why does time pass so quickly… or so slowly?

Time is a stable, immutable fact. Yet, we sometimes have the impression that it doesn't always pass at the same pace, depending on our activities or our state of mind.

Picture this: You're on a plane and have a 10-hour flight to get to your destination. For the first few hours, you can sleep, read, or watch a movie. 

Deep down, you're feeling a great deal of excitement about your vacation! Time seems to fly by. But with only two or three hours left until landing, you stare out the window, waiting for the flight to end. Chances are, you'll find these last few hours much longer than the first, right?

Is time relative, as Einstein told us? Reflections on the question.

Scientific explanation

The fact that time doesn't always seem to flow at the same speed is a phenomenon that can be partly explained by science. While physical time remains the same, our perception of it tends to be elastic. But why?

The answer lies within our brain, that most complex of organs. In addition to being physical, time is a chemical reality that takes shape in our brain and is influenced by several stimuli, including emotions.

It has been studied that pleasure triggers a release of dopamine in us, a neurotransmitter that accelerates the passage of time. 

The more pleasure we experience, the faster time seems to pass. Think back to that night out with friends where you were dancing and laughing: it seemed to go by in a flash, didn't it?

While pleasure speeds up time, fear lengthens it. People who experience traumatic events, such as a car accident, often report feeling as if time had passed in slow motion, a direct result of the fear they experienced

Choosing how to use our time

Have you ever heard the famous phrase "we all have the same number of hours in a day"? Frequently used by self-help gurus, this phrase remains true nonetheless. Time is the same for everyone; yet, we have a certain power over how we use it.

When we're caught up in the daily grind of hustling, bustling, and busy, we feel like we're chasing time, never having enough. While people who suffer from loneliness or depression often report feeling like time is slipping by in dribs and drabs.

Whether you feel like you're running out of time or, on the contrary, you want it to pass more quickly, there are certain actions you can take to influence your perception of it.

What to do when things go too fast?

Are the days flying by at breakneck speed, and do you feel like time is slipping through your fingers? The first thing you can do to try to slow it down is to stop, even if it's just for a few minutes. Try to find one or more moments each day to take a break and simply "be." That alone should make a huge difference.

If you like, practice a mindfulness activity, such as meditation or mindful walking. Focus on the present moment and on each minute, each second that passes. Time is already slowing down, isn't it?

What to do when things go too fast?

Are the days flying by at breakneck speed, and do you feel like time is slipping through your fingers? The first thing you can do to try to slow it down is to stop, even if it's just for a few minutes. Try to find one or more moments each day to take a break and simply "be." That alone should make a huge difference.

If you like, practice a mindfulness activity, such as meditation or mindful walking. Focus on the present moment and on each minute, each second that passes. Time is already slowing down, isn't it?

What to do when things go too slowly?

The feeling of going around in circles: we all experienced it in one way or another during the COVID-19 pandemic, when we were confined and many of us lost our jobs. Time seemed to drag on…

It is certain that when we pay particular attention to the passage of time, for example when we are bored and stare at our watch, the latter seems to fly by much more slowly, which can lead to a certain state of monotony, even sadness.

If this is you, I want to ask you this question: "Do you really want to use your time to worry or to brood?"

Why not see this time at your disposal for what it really is: after all, it's not called "free time" for nothing. You are free to do whatever you want! Why not use it to let your imagination run wild by visualizing positive things, like your next project or upcoming vacation, or to practice one of your favorite hobbies? Remember that fun makes time pass faster, so stimulate it!

Remember that you are the master of your life, and that includes how you choose to experience the passing hours.

 Co-creation at the heart of the Association's blog

Today, I wanted to do things a little differently and give you a behind-the-scenes look at the blog. I say "I," as if the idea came solely from me, when the truth is that this topic, like all topics, came from a discussion with my colleagues, in a most inspiring co-creative process.

Focus on our creative process

Every blog post you read here begins as a group discussion between colleagues. We regularly take a moment to chat about anything and everything: work, our feelings, and the questions that haunt us these days. As our discussions unfold, topics for articles emerge.

Once we've identified compelling and inspiring topics, we discuss them further so that each team member can share their opinion, formulate a hypothesis, or raise a few questions that will inform the writing process. 

For my part, I take careful note of all of this so I can draw inspiration from it when the time comes to write. I then let it all settle for a few days. 

I like to let ideas live inside me for a while; they wander freely through my head, sometimes emerging when I least expect them. This allows me to think about the question without pressure, and to feed off what's happening around me to enrich my writing.

Once I'm ready to dive into my article, I always start with a little web research to see what others are saying about it. This, too, is a form of co-creation. I don't believe in spontaneous creation: writing, like any art form, thrives on diverse influences that converge into a new, original creation.

And finally, after all this time, I'm getting started writing!

The benefits of co-creation

Why make this blog a collective project? Because, as the saying goes, two heads (here, it would be more like 5-6 heads!) are better than one.

Together, we fuel our reflections, find interesting angles, and ensure we address topics that will resonate with our readers. 

We are women of different ages, from different fields, and even from different cities. By co-creating together, we ensure our articles can reach a wider and more diverse audience.

What's more, my expertise is writing, not mental health. I appreciate having the "input" (in plain English) of my colleagues who are professionals in this field. 

They sometimes direct me to relevant resources or angles of attack that I wouldn't have thought of on my own. 

In closing, co-creation is a highly motivating process! As a self-employed person, my days can sometimes be very lonely. 

It feels good to get together in person or virtually to discuss important things like mental health. It makes me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself, like I have a mission, a goal to achieve with my articles.

Sincere thanks

I don't know how else to end this article other than by saying "thank you," dear readers! Whether you're a regular blogger or this is your first time reading one of our articles, thank you for taking a moment out of your life to read our words (because they are our words, not just mine).

If an article particularly resonates with you or makes you feel better, I encourage you to share it, even if it's just with a loved one or via your social media. Also, don't hesitate to leave us comments; we love hearing from you!

See you soon.

 Why do we have so much difficulty accepting compliments?

“Wow, your dress is beautiful!”

"Oh, that? It's an old thing I found in the back of my wardrobe..."

Many people have difficulty accepting compliments, whether they're about their physical appearance or personal qualities. 

Why is it so difficult to simply say "thank you" without trying to diminish ourselves or soften the compliments? Is it possible to learn to be more comfortable receiving compliments?

In this article, we will explore the psychological reasons behind this difficulty, the impact of this attitude, and ways to learn to accept compliments with gratitude.

The psychological reasons behind the difficulty in accepting compliments

One of the main reasons some people struggle with accepting compliments is their low self-esteem. They simply don't believe they deserve those kind words, which leads them to dismiss them. 

For example, someone who doesn't feel good about their body may have a hard time believing that anyone could genuinely find them attractive.

Accepting a compliment can also create a fear of being perceived as arrogant or pretentious. To avoid this social discomfort, some people minimize or deflect praise, hoping to avoid negative judgment.

There may also be social conditioning behind this difficulty. For example, women are often encouraged to be modest, not to attract too much attention, or not to brag. As a result, they may feel pressured to moderate the compliments they receive, even when they are well-intentioned.

The impact of refusing compliments

Well, yes: we don't think about it at the time, but refusing to accept a compliment or minimizing it can have a certain impact, both on the person receiving it and the person offering it.

Among other things, this can reinforce negative self-talk. By constantly rejecting kind words, we reinforce the idea that we don't deserve recognition or validation, which can harm our self-esteem in the long run.

By declining a compliment, one can also unintentionally invalidate the effort or intention of the person giving it . This can create discomfort or awkwardness, and send the message that their words are not appreciated.

By constantly refusing compliments, we risk creating emotional distance from others. Indeed, compliments are often a way for people to strengthen social bonds and show affection or appreciation. Not accepting them can weaken these positive interactions.

How to learn to accept compliments?

The simplest solution is probably to learn to simply say "thank you," without adding anything else! Resist the urge to justify yourself or minimize the praise. Little by little, it will become a habit, and you will feel more comfortable doing it.

It's important to understand that accepting a compliment doesn't make us conceited. Rather, it's about accepting legitimate recognition of our qualities or efforts.

To become more comfortable with compliments, it's often necessary to work on your own self-esteem. By learning to value your own qualities, you become more open to external recognition. This process may take time, but it's essential for developing a healthy relationship with yourself.

A path to self-acceptance

Accepting a compliment can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but it's a valuable skill that can not only improve your relationship with yourself but also enrich your interactions with others. Learn to say "thank you" and let compliments boost your self-esteem.

So, the next time someone compliments you on your beautiful eyes, you'll know what to say!

 Should we be afraid of silence?

For many, silence can feel uncomfortable, even threatening. 

It shines a light on what the hustle and bustle of everyday life helps us avoid: our thoughts, our emotions, our inner truth. Yet others recognize its profound benefits. 

Away from ambient noise, constant chatter, and digital stimulation, silence acts as a space for reconnecting with oneself. It can be unsettling at first, but it also has the power to soothe, center, and even transform us.

My relationship with silence

For a long time, I was uncomfortable with silence. Well, it must be said that, while I'm not the most extroverted of the group, I love to talk, especially when I'm alone. When I was young, my father often joked about the fact that I talked A LOT, non-stop. Yes, even at 5 years old, I was a real chatterbox.

As I've gotten older, I've retained this love of conversation, but I've also developed a certain phobia of downtime, pauses, and long silences. I've associated these moments with a lack of interest in myself. 

Intrusive thoughts like "I'm so uninteresting" or "the person I'm talking to must find me sleepy" start to swarm in my brain, undermining my sense of self-esteem. So I talk and talk... With empty words after empty words, I try to fill the silence.

But since I met my boyfriend, his relationship with silence has helped me reconcile with him. Even though my boyfriend still talks easily, he's also very comfortable with moments of silence. 

For him, they're more like moments of rest, which he appreciates. It's true that when you spend almost all your free time with the same person, you might not always have something to say to each other. 

It's a sign of complicity, in reality. So, for the first time in my life, I'm learning to be comfortable in these downtimes that have always terrified me.

Silence is also being with oneself

Yes, of course, there is silence with others, but what about silence with oneself? I also feel more and more comfortable being in silence when I'm alone. 

Whereas before, I worked with music in the background, I realize that I function much better in complete silence. It's as if I can hear the thoughts in my head more.

I also connect more easily with my creativity. They say that nature doesn't like a vacuum: by letting myself be bathed in silence, I create space in my head for ideas to emerge. 

I also notice this when I take a walk: increasingly, I avoid putting a podcast or music in my ears, and I take advantage of this moment to be mindful. Result: I give my brain a break from stimulation, and I always come back super inspired!

When silence confronts us

Silence is so disturbing because it acts like a mirror. It reflects what's happening inside us when nothing else comes to camouflage it: our doubts, our insecurities, our sometimes contradictory impulses. 

Without outside noise to fill the space, we find ourselves face to face with ourselves. This encounter, while essential, isn't always comfortable.

Taming silence takes practice. You can start with short periods of unstimulating activity: turning off the radio during your morning commute, working without music, or walking without headphones. 

These breaks gradually allow us to quiet our minds and create mental space. It's also helpful to welcome what emerges in silence instead of judging it. 

An unpleasant thought? An unexpected emotion? They're not there to harm us, but to be heard. By practicing a form of self-presence, we become less reactive and more grounded.

Rethinking our relationship with silence

Silence is not empty: it is filled with us. Learning to inhabit it rather than flee from it means making space for our inner world. It also means recognizing that we don't need to fill every moment to exist fully.

What if, starting today, we stopped filling all the silences? Just to see what they have to say to us.

 Learning to slow down in summer

Ahhhh summer: beautiful sunny days, festivals, vacations, camping, evenings with aperitifs on the balcony or listening to music around the fire, barbecues with friends... 

The summer season is definitely the time of year when a lot happens, when we finally come out of hibernation to socialize and celebrate. The sunny days are so few and far between here in Quebec! So, we want to make the most of them.

However, it's easy to get exhausted trying to be part of every activity. What if we learned to slow down a little and simply enjoy summer?

Why do we feel compelled to do so much in the summer?

You've probably felt it before, that famous summer stress that pushes you to fill your calendar to make sure you don't miss anything. We call it seasonal FOMO ( Fear Of Missing Out) : the constant fear of missing out on something important, interesting, or fun. 

Through Instagram stories, Facebook photos, or TikTok videos, it's easy to compare yourself to others and believe that if your summer isn't as busy, then it's a failure.

The social pressure is real: every sunny day becomes a race to be active, and every moment of rest becomes a missed opportunity. But is that really the case? What if enjoying summer also meant slowing down and savoring things at your own pace, even if that sometimes means doing nothing at all?

Listen to your natural rhythm

Just because everyone seems to be running from festival to barbecue doesn't mean you have to follow suit. 

In fact, contrary to what social media suggests, summer can be a wonderful opportunity for rest and rejuvenation. Listening to your natural rhythm means reconnecting with what you feel deep down. 

Sometimes, enjoying summer means lying under a tree, reading a good book, or simply sitting on your patio, without pressure, without a specific goal, coffee in hand. Slowing down isn't about missing out: it's about choosing what truly makes you feel good.

Recreate a void in your schedule

If your summer feels like a marathon and you feel compelled to say yes to everything, take a moment to breathe and sort through your options. 

Not every invitation deserves an automatic "yes." Before you respond, ask yourself this simple question: "Do I really want to do this?"

Deliberately create blank spaces in your calendar. Keep these moments for yourself. 

They'll be perfect for improvising a short walk, a spontaneous swim, a nap in the sun, or even... absolutely nothing. It's often in these unexpected moments that summer reveals its most beautiful surprises.

Simple activity ideas to slow down

You don't have to look far to slow down this summer. Here are a few simple ideas:

• Read outside, comfortably installed on a deckchair, in the sun (but don't forget the sunscreen!) or in the shade of a tree;
• Walk barefoot on the grass, to fully experience contact with nature;
• Gardening quietly, without pressure;
• Cooking a fresh dish with local produce is a great way to reconnect with the flavors of summer;
• Observe the sky, the stars, the clouds, and simply enjoy the spectacle that nature offers;
• Explore a new neighborhood without a particular destination.

These small activities have in common that they have no specific goal, except to feel good. And that's exactly what slowing down is all about.

Create your own summer

Ultimately, there's no one right way to experience summer. Slowing down can look very different from one person to the next. 

For you, it might mean allowing yourself to do things at your own pace, according to your deepest desires. 

It might mean saying no to a party in favor of a quiet evening at home, or deciding that your ideal way to experience summer is precisely to do nothing special.

Remember this: summer is meant to be savored. So, enjoy it to the fullest, but above all, slowly. Because it's often in these simple, small moments that we find the greatest satisfaction.

 Why does the weather affect our mood so much

A week of near-scorching weather, followed by several days of rain, high temperatures, then near-freezing temperatures... 

If you're like me, the unstable spring weather of recent times is likely affecting your mood. Well, rest assured: it's completely normal, and even proven by science! 

A mechanism deeply rooted in our biology

Sunny days have the effect of a gentle caress on me: I feel joyful, energetic, and ready to move mountains. It's hard to stop me with my contagious good humor. 

Rainy days, on the other hand, are a different story: low morale, temporary depression, lack of energy and motivation... These are often the kind of days when I want to stay curled up under the covers and not see anyone.

This link between weather and mood doesn't come out of nowhere. It's partly explained by our biological clock. When the sun is out, our bodies produce more serotonin, a hormone that acts as a natural antidepressant.

Conversely, a lack of light leads to a decrease in serotonin and an increase in melatonin, the sleep hormone. The result: fatigue, slowing down, and sometimes even a slight inner fog that clouds our thoughts.

This is why some people feel depressed on gloomy days, almost as if their body is pressing the pause button without their consent.

Less light, less momentum

Bad weather also tends to curb our outdoor activities. We exercise less, go out less, and see fewer people. 

This withdrawal, even temporary, can create a feeling of isolation that accentuates our gloomy mood. The body moves less, the brain spins more, and we find ourselves with our spirits in our laps.

And if you're already anxious or prone to mood swings, you're more likely to feel the effects of the weather more acutely. It's not all in your head: some people are simply more sensitive to these fluctuations.

When our beliefs influence our feelings

Beyond hormones and social interactions, there's also an important psychological factor: our mental associations. 

Good weather is often linked, in our collective imagination, to joy, freedom, and social life. 

Conversely, we spontaneously associate rain with melancholy, even sadness. This cognitive bias colors our experience.

What if we learned to reinvent our relationship with rain? Instead of seeing it as a drag or another gloom in our week, why not consider it as an invitation to calm?

Rain is a time of rest for nature. And it can be for us too. It can be the perfect opportunity to slow down, run a bath, read wrapped in a blanket, or share a hot drink with someone we love. Rain can become a cocoon, a moment to savor instead of endure.

Some tips for getting through the gray weather more gently

Fortunately, there are several simple ways to better navigate these darker days:

• Engage in some physical activity, even gentle, indoors. Movement remains one of the best mood regulators.
• Take vitamin D supplements, especially in Quebec, where sun exposure is very limited for a good part of the year.
• Use a light therapy lamp, especially in the morning, to simulate natural light.
• Increase opportunities for social interaction, even if it's just for a coffee or a 15-minute call.

And above all: adopt a more nuanced view of the weather. Remember that each season, each sky, can offer a form of beauty or respite. It's no less alive: it's simply a different way of living.

Accepting cycles, within yourself and around you

Our mood is cyclical. It varies, like the weather, depending on multiple factors. Rather than resisting these waves, perhaps we can learn to welcome them, to tame them. 

Some days carry us, others invite us to slow down. And that's fine. Because, in every clearing, as in every drop of rain, there is a moment to live fully